She rounded the final bend — hi-fives from her running club waiting at the finish. She looked at her time. Negative splits — and a final-mile time she hadn’t seen in years.

Each mile was faster than the last — she thought about how her body communicated what it needed each step of the way.

More than anything, fulfillment — for listening. For not overriding her sense to slow down but stay steady on the hill, allowing for a proper warm-up and building to a comfortable pace thirty seconds faster than last week.

She flashed back to her first day of marathon training (over a decade ago) and remembered why she loved to run. It demanded and thus cultivated an intimate experience with her body.

Learning to discern the source of the fatigue — is it my breath, am I getting enough oxygen and exhaling enough, is it my legs, how is my heart rate — she learned to scan her body.

With time the day arrived when she got high enough in mileage where her legs began to fatigue before running out of breath — the out of breath problem was no longer the issue, training her legs for increased endurance was the next edge.

The Connection We Were Trained to Lose

A relationship with one’s own body is a topic contorted with shame, rights, and privilege.

Whether it be the taboo topic of self-pleasure, the dismissiveness of self-diagnosis, or the pressure to place healing in the hands of an institutionally certified professional, even inside institutions that may have abused, ignored, and oppressed the very bodies it demands to hold expert domain over.

But that’s just the way it is, so we accept it. Questioning leads to ostracizing, public shame, and weird-making.

Thus, the connection atrophies, it’s relegated to something that’s done behind closed doors by a select few, it isn’t fully cultivated, and the lineage of self-knowledge dilutes generation to generation.

Along with it, an inner knowing, the internal compass, the deeper knowing gets quieter and quieter — and institutional figures took its place — the school teacher, the doctor, the CEO.

All in an effort to keep you in your assigned place.

Creativity and the humanities are undermined while logic and rationality are overmined. Isolation creeps in, anxiety runs amok, and sickening widens.

What AI Is Actually Revealing

Then a group of computer programs, better known as AI — enter the field. Programs that can outlogic, outrationalize, and outperform the human mind — a mind that was systematically consigned to pure cognition.

The same institutions that once revered raw analytical power — when that is what it needed most from you — now march to a different beat.

What a rare few knew all along is now becoming undeniable — what makes you competitive are traits that are uniquely human — creativity, discernment.

As disillusionment dissolves and truths are revealed, we are entering a global season of reclamation, redistribution of power, energy, and all that comes with such a transformation.

The Architecture Underneath

Disconnecting the human from one’s own body and thus one’s own internal sense of self and guidance was literally the plug into the matrix — the very source from which power and energy have been extracted.

If you wonder why certain people have stayed in power, why certain stories continue to repeat, it is because the power structures we see failing right before our eyes have been brilliantly designed such that energy and power are willingly given away.

And now, I wouldn’t say thanks to AI, but rather to aligned timing with shifting energetic structures, worlds are colliding.

The connection with the body is slowly rising in the zeitgeist through conversations about nervous system regulation, somatic awareness, and the like.

We are at an impasse, as a society, a country, and a planet.

As we learn to listen to our bodies, self-regulate, and connect with deeper levels of creativity, it is important that we simultaneously break the habit of feeding that learning back into the very system that seeks to extract it.

It is time to free ourselves and claim full authority and domain over that freed self, to paraphrase the Beloved Toni Morrison.

The Question That Started This

Almost 25 years ago, before my career began, I watched the collapse of Enron and all the news that surrounded it — similar to how we are watching the Epstein files now.

I wondered:

How does it get that bad.

How did no one see or say anything.

How do the powers that be, as corrupt as they may be, somehow continue to stay in power.

Through years of rigor, research, and my own journey — personally and professionally, potentially with this question as an invisible hand — I’ve stumbled on the beginning of an answer and, more importantly, where to begin to look for a collective solution.

If you’ve been asking the same questions — not casually, but in the way that reshapes how you live and lead — this is what I’m building.

Not optimization. Not another framework for succeeding inside a system that wasn’t designed for you to thrive.

Something different. Starting with the architecture underneath.

The old playbook is dead. What replaces it is an inner knowing navigated by the roadmap of the body.

The first step is seeing what’s been running in its place.

See what’s been running underneath. A 3-minute diagnostic.
→ Take the Capacity Archetype Quiz

The temperature was warm with a cool breeze, the sun was shining brightly but everything looked so dim.

She woke up tired yet again and wondered what she could do differently. She looked up and beckoned — something’s gotta give.

She looked forward and continued to get dressed — she prayed that whatever she wasn’t seeing, whatever she was doing wrong, would become clear.

Can you relate? This was me, in the deepest edge of my burnout before I had the words to give it.

About a decade ago, during a brief obsessive spurt, I became consumed with the idea of living in a Downtown Los Angeles loft. I toured a few buildings in the area — the neighborhood continuously shifting, growing the high-end ‘liveable’ area of DTLA and shrinking and scattering what is known as Skid Row.

The buildings were intriguing to me. I liked the idea of super high ceilings, but the revealed architecture — intentionally exposing beaming and piping as a design choice — felt ambiguous.

It made me think of how, when I typically walk into a building, I rarely consider what structures hold it up, its inner workings, and take for granted that it won’t fall.

Architecture, like operating systems, is a double-edged sword because the same thing that makes it so effective can also make it quite dangerous.

The inner workings are naked to the blind eye.

The Hidden Systems Running Your Leadership

When considering personal operating systems — our thoughts, beliefs, values, somatic patterns, the nervous system’s definition of safe — there are often many hidden streams running silently in the background, impacting the way we see, interpret, and act on the world around us.

Societal expectations — the voice that says this is just how it works, stop questioning it.

Codependent work structures — the dynamic where your success depends on managing everyone else’s comfort before you ever get to your own.

Personal trauma — the thing you’ve “dealt with” that still runs the show when pressure hits.

And while this may seem like a very personal conversation, it bleeds through every area of our life — including our business and leadership decisions.

When it comes to personal operating systems, the very same ones that run our personal lives are at play in our professional lives. They may have a different font, we may even take a different role, but the same rules apply. Often a set of unspoken, unagreed-upon, and invisible rules.

Trying to find solutions at the level they were created — optimizing and working harder inside the framework — is like being on a hamster wheel.

It is exhausting, extracting, and continues to feed a system that is so pervasive it can feel impossible to escape.

Why You Can’t Think Your Way Out

Many of us have begun to question at varying levels depending on our journey. There may be an acute awareness that something isn’t working. There may be a detailed analysis of what isn’t working and why, yet zero idea of how to change it. Some of us may have clear diagnoses and a plan for change, yet something still seems to evade a clear solution.

Wherever you are on the continuum, the process can feel elusive and pervasive — because it’s not a clear action or behavior pattern that is at hand. It’s an entire system that, as a society, based on our position, we have internalized and normalized.

The work at hand is learning to separate our identity from the system creating the patterns. But it’s really hard, if not impossible, to do so when you can’t see it.

Now more than ever it is critical to deeply question the framework or paradigm from which decisions are made — and this is a whole body exercise, not a mental one.

The Invitation

When I started consulting independently after leaving Deloitte, the top of my website read:

I was in my mid-20s and watched people run hamster wheels around problems that, if they just took a step outside of their thinking, solutions became obvious.

After fifteen years, I’ve finally begun to learn how to articulate these blocks and provide greater insight.

I’ve created an assessment to help you begin to look at what’s been running underneath — the system creating that hamster-on-a-wheel syndrome in your career or business. Or the one running the thoughts that keep you in deep fear and overwhelm around all that is going on in the world. Or whatever your version of it is — that thing that may seem like the way things are done, that’s breaking down and asking you for a new way.

You can’t think your way out of patterns you can’t see. But you can begin to name them.

Take the Capacity Archetype Quiz and see what’s been running underneath.

Lately, I’ll admit I’ve been giving myself some scrolling time on social media under the purview of an app that closes it after 15 minutes, and I have to choose whether or not to reopen.

After a recent scroll session, I put down my phone, processing everything I’d just seen.

My feed is curated in a way where it shows everything from influencers in the reality tv/celebrity sphere, the academics sharing insights on their research (neuroscience, sociology, quantum physics, you name it), cultural critiques (the fashion angle is my favorite), political influencers (conservative, libertarian, and liberal), the AI people (doomsday to the best thing on earth) and of course, the trending 50 Cent beef of the moment.

I love it, having varying points of view in my feed allows me to see what people are thinking across the gamut and feeds my critical mind.

As I engage, the only thing more baffling than the drastically different realities people live in is how quickly the comments section can escalate when the audience doesn’t see eye to eye with the content creator or each other.

I’m not immune to this - I came across an influencer last week who was targeting a native Brooklynite on a post.

She had his comment featured on her screen, picture and all – tearing him down because he commented that he didn’t want to pay for her event, as she declared that there was no such thing as a real New Yorker and that she was bringing the culture to Brooklyn.

I felt the anger rise within me, and the words of a well-formulated rage-filled retaliation began to form - thumb warriors were geared up and ready to go!

I paused and decided it would be more effective in terms of my time, energy, and potential impact to report it for what it was - hate speech.

The Ground Is Moving

Nonetheless, I was momentarily pulled into the vortex of hate and anger of her post. Fear unchecked and unprocessed is a dangerous emotion.

The one thread I see that runs through many of the various paradigms people are living in is fear, uncertainty, and mistrust over compassion, curiosity, and willingness.

In the world we live in today, there is so much change in various arenas all at once - political, technological, financial, cultural - the ground feels like it’s constantly moving underneath the pitter patter of feet too slow to keep up.

As we work to navigate these times, it is hard to know what and whom to trust.

The Manufactured Recession

The 2026 Edelman Trust Barometer lays out a three-layered model of how trust erodes: layer one polarization (e.g., red vs blue), layer two grievance (resentment towards a system rigged against you), and layer three insularity (reluctance to trust anyone different from you).

You can probably guess where, as a society, we are today.

The report calls the current moment “Trust Amid Insularity”.

In layman’s terms, many are calling it a ‘trust recession’. Unpacking the layers, it points to cues of how this all may have been quite deliberately manufactured.

Nonetheless, it is a lived experience of our times and feels very real.

In the spirit of alchemy – for those of us committed to envisioning a better future despite the current news feed – what if this moment of manufactured distrust was pointing to something greater?

The Messy Middle

What if we haven’t completely lost trust, but we’re finally withdrawing it from places it never belonged? And what we see is the messy middle - where we as a society have not yet found where to anchor ourselves.

In the midst of change, there are moments when the heat often required for transformation arises and makes things very uncomfortable. In these moments – often filled with fear and uncertainty of the known – it’s tempting to want to stop or turn around.

This is the exact place where alchemy occurs - if you keep going. Oddly enough, it requires an immense amount of trust.

But where does that come from?

The Muscle We Were Trained to Forget

For too long, many have accepted the status quo, the narratives we were fed, and lived by the scripts and positions given to us.

In a society that pushes hustle over restoration, consumerism over presence, and trends over discernment, it can be easy to get lost in the shuffle.

Relying on the rules, narratives, and scripts has often felt like the only way to stay afloat.

Taking the time to question has not only been deeply conditioned out of the typical, but it also has felt like a luxury when life is well life-ing. Hence the news cycle, designed to keep us in a frenzy while a deeper knowing grasps for our attention.

The muscle for inner authority got quieter. The channel for inner knowing narrowed.

And eventually, it became hard to remember it was ever there.

Now, we are at a point where everything we’ve been taught to trust in is being turned upside down and inside out. Core paradigms are being shaken; it’s hard to know what to believe or what frame of reference to anchor in.

Now the seeming luxury of inner guidance is more necessary than ever.

What if something deeper is seeking to emerge?

What the Cracks Are Actually Showing

Read more

As one learns to listen to the sensations of the body, presence to one’s feelings and emotions in the moment becomes more accessible. Instead of suppressing, you now feel anger well up like a wave crashing ashore.

Then the judgement creeps in – you’re so emotional, why are you angry, it’s not that serious – moments begin to replay. Scenes from a distant or not so past, the conditioning – the socialized mind.

The thoughts slowly trigger feelings of shame, maybe anxiety, pummeling into a downward spiral of feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness.

Someone else’s shortcoming, insecurity, or calculated attack - quickly becomes internalized, worn as an oppressive armor.

The Triple Jeopardy

Anger is a sacred gift we’ve been socialized to suppress, manage, control, or, unabashedly, without consequences, express.

A core human emotion that we haven’t been taught to honor, or get curious about.

Maybe it’s time we treat her as a dear friend with information that we may not want to hear, but because we know she has our best interest at hand - are willing to listen to.

Feedback, data, that with proper nurturing can become a source of power, a tool for alchemy.

Instead, we take this sacred tool for alchemy and use it as a tool of harm to ourselves and others.

A core disease of the inherited operating system.

Instead, what replaces this misinterpreted data is shame at best; at worst, a complete disconnection from the present, where all power lives. Often both.

It’s a sort of triple jeopardy - you don’t get to be with what is, the missed opportunity of a powerful healing and evolutionary tonic, and to hammer the nail into the coffin – the internalization (or externalization, depending on the side of the coin you live on) of poison to the soul of humanity.

What most people think of as emotional regulation is the mastery of one of the operating system’s most powerful cocktails - spiritual bypassing, rimmed along the suppression/oppression continuum, spiked with that 160 proof mind control.

Three Costumes of the Same Wound

And this is in best case scenario. Many don’t even have access to this toxic form of self-mastery. For this lot, their fate is left to the diabolical forces of manipulation.

I’ve come to realize that the trope of the angry black woman is – while quite malicious as a stereotype, quite actually a spell aiming to disconnect and disembody the Black woman from her righteous rage and sacred anger.

While a seemingly more advantageous stance - the tears of white fragility - anger cosplayed as fear or sadness - replaces anger with victimhood and powerlessness that only deepens the trench of neuroticism, incessant anxiety, and pill-popping.

Climbing the disillusioned hierarchy of this viral-fueled operating system - a seemingly more powerful play - the rage of entitled and wounded masculinity, where anger cosplays as dominance and power. This move — replacing anger with potentially the deepest wound of them all — loss of identity without a subject to oppress, zero source without a subject to siphon.

Thus deepening the trench of the very misplaced rage projected on the first lot.

And what we see play out on the world stage — violence as the only means to exist, and the instinct to consume every energy-giving and sustaining thing on this planet.

The Original Sin

And we come to see a vicious cycle to extract life from everything that gives life itself.

Fueled, at each level, by the original sin – separation from self.

Introduction

On the first day of the Lunar New Year 2026, the year of the fire horse, I found myself tucked away in a corner of my favorite cafe, a stone’s throw away from Union Square, sipping my new drink of choice: matcha latte with almond milk.

During a brainstorming session, I was reminded of a report I had become accustomed to following, but admittedly hadn’t been all too familiar with as of late. I revisited.

As I read the report highlighting burnout rates, a struggling pipeline, and decreasing ambition – the summative text, then the data, back to the summary – there was a visceral agitation, an unmet craving for a statement of the obvious.

This wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling.

I’ve sat in rooms with executives, high-paid consultants, and subject matter experts, watching them rack their brains about issues – simultaneously doubting what was obvious to me and wondering why no one else could see it.

The Engineers that Wouldn’t

It flashed me back, almost two decades earlier – I sat in a steering committee meeting and looked around at stumped partners, senior managers on the consulting side, and senior executives sponsoring the project on the client side.

A recurring issue that arose weekly like the tide with the moon, yet again. There was a contingency of rebels holding up a company-wide transformation of a multi-billion dollar company. A small, yet profoundly pivotal to the business, group - Engineering.

They refused to accept the change fervently - they hadn’t signed off on documents, refused to attend change adoption or early training meetings, and essentially turned a blind eye to the transformation.

Besides being bewildered by the incessant confusion of this group of senior leaders - it was humorous to me - a very expected disgruntled engineer’s response.

The Junior Consultant That Could

A few months into these meetings, they asked me (a junior consultant at the time) to go to a remote site where the engineers were stationed and spend the week there.

My directive: get them to sign off on the business process documents.

Huh? Senior Managers and Partners had their hands on this as it was pivotal and holding up the project, and they asked me.

I had some success onsite getting resistant subject matter experts to sign off on documents, and they wanted to see if I could have the same success there.

Another consultant, far more senior than I, had already been out there for a couple of weeks, and it wasn’t going well.

I didn’t want to go.

I arrived at the very much off-the-beaten-path site, which, without giving too many details, was more like an industrial plant than a corporate office.

The ‘building’ was a trailer built on the grounds.

I walked into a room of exclusively middle-aged white males and my consultant counterpart, another woman.

I was at least happy that she was there, not to be the only woman in what felt like a hostile, abandoned yard to me.

I walked in with a friendly smile, “Hello.”

Blank stares.

I experienced the initial (disapproving) judgment of my arrival. I decided to play it cool and just sit at my desk and work, while observing.

“Is there somewhere I can sit?”, I questioned.

One of the engineers, whom I assumed was the leader, motioned toward an empty desk without looking at me.

I needed an in to understand the dynamics of the group, who they listen to, and what the actual resistance was.

My counterpart, a management-level consultant, had a slew of reasons and stories of why it would be hard to be there, all of which echoed the weekly meetings I was accustomed to attending.

I put her and the team back at corporate in one frame of mind. My goal that week was to figure out that of the engineers while simultaneously keeping at bay the constant anxiety of needing to perform and feeling very out of place in my current work conditions.

The Self-Transforming Mind: The Leadership Skill Hiding in Plain Sight

At the time, I knew one of my gifts as a young consultant was getting people on board, converting a historically resistant groups to project champions.

I didn’t exactly know how I was doing it at the time - I figured it was because of my cross-functional approach being an EECS in a Human Capital role.

While that may have had something to do with it, I now realize something way deeper and intrinsic to my way of being was at play - a core survival skill.

A well-known Harvard professor, Robert Kegan, has done decades of research on behavioral change and has coined a concept: the self-transforming mind. An ability and capacity to observe and see your mental processes or lens, and adapt and choose one that would be most effective and aligned with your goal.

Kegan and his team spent decades studying this capacity and consider it a rare skill and the most advanced stage of adult development.

It was a way of life for me, a lens through which I navigated the world in the vastly different environments I found myself in.

By the end of the week, the documents were updated with necessary changes, signed, and the room of the previously obstinate engineering group was buzzing with excitement about the changes to come.

They had not only been heard, but with their suggestions integrated into the design, they realized their jobs would become easier and previous gripes about the process would become a non-issue.

I was successful in my mission, and it only took a week!

I was exhausted from holding three to four frames of reference in my mind and shifting between all of them to communicate effectively, manage competing agendas, and work to stay physically and psychologically safe in a place that did not feel so.

My success was met with a conspicuously underwhelming level of gratitude for the money, time, and value I now know I saved and created. I am sure someone far more senior than I received the accolade.

Nonetheless, I was happy. It was the weekend, and I could go back to my main hotel.

Through my twenty-something lens - I knew if it hadn’t been completed, I risked having to return to this remote location and stay in a local hotel far too outside of the city for the taste of my social life at the time.

Double Consciousness and the Inherited Operating System

When I first learned of Kegan’s concept of the ‘self-transforming mind’, I immediately thought of W.E.B. Du Bois’ ‘double consciousness’.

I first learned of Du Bois’ work in my late teens during my tenure at a university, W.E.B. Du Bois, himself, once taught at Howard University. But it wasn’t until my time at Cal that I more fully understood the necessary coping skill and revisited his work.

Double consciousness is a concept the Du Bois puts forth, that people of a non-dominant group, when in a dominant setting, “...are forced to view themselves through both their own eyes and the devaluing lens of a racist white society.”

Du Bois wrote this in 1903 and, similar to Kegan’s work almost a century later, also spoke of the evolving nature of this experience.

Anyone who has ever been accused of ‘code-switching’ or has had to strategically maneuver micro-aggressions or mansplaining while staying regulated and still needing to perform at their job has lived double consciousness.

It is a skill that any Black American, interacting with American institutions, systems, or racism with any level of success (translate as surviving) has had to develop, whether consciously or not.

It is a psychological and emotional tax that, while DuBois was primarily speaking of Black Americans, in his famed work The Souls of Black Folk, I am sure it extends to anyone who has ever been an other, especially in an environment that does not mirror or value their reality.

What’s Seeking to Emerge

While the self-transforming mind is considered an advanced and rare skill for leaders today, it is a basic survival skill for people who live in bodies that resemble mine, stemming from the double consciousness that W. E. B. Du Bois spoke of.

By this point in my career, I’d moved through two Fortune 50 companies, a graduate degree, and landed at Big IV consulting firm.

As a Black woman, you don’t maneuver or transition those spaces without what I see as ‘evolving the intrinsic double consciousness’ that comes with being an ‘other’ in environments that have historically harmed people that look like you, without developing the mental complexity of the self-transforming mind.

I learned that holding the lens through which others see you, while working to develop your own positive self-view, and simultaneously doing the work required to be a star (because that is all that feels acceptable) – is a mandatory skill for someone like me, not a nice-to-have in the executive ranks.

And as echoed through my body while reading burnout rates amongst women and even higher for Black women, it is exhausting.

Data that flashed me back to my twenty-something self and her journey of holding all of this at once. A visceral reminder of something I’ve long come to know – this system does not allow for the full self-actualization of me.

And this isn’t only about race or gender. The inherited operating system constrains everyone.

But it fails loudest for the people carrying the most complexity with the least support.

The ones who’ve been running the self-transforming mind since childhood aren’t behind.

We are ahead.

Yet at capacity, because the system demands advanced complexity as a core survival mechanism.

There’s something else seeking to emerge.

I decided that what was needed was an architecture that can hold, develop, nurture, and support my capacity. It was time for a REWRITE.

Before you can rewrite the code, you have to see it running.

See what’s been running underneath. Take the Capacity Quiz — A 3-minute diagnostic that surfaces the pattern your inherited operating system defaults to under pressure — and why optimization keeps failing to reach it.

Need to catch up?

The Vagus Nerve: A Perspective on Manifesting

How to De-stress and Down Regulate Your Nervous System with Somatic Awareness

Leading Through Listening: Why Empathy is the Key to Modern Leadership

The Great Unmasking: Dealing with Shame

Most leaders try to think their way into clarity.

But your brain can’t solve what your body is carrying.

If your nervous system is overloaded — even slightly — your mind will loop, stall, or shut down. Not because you’re unfocused. Not because you’re unprepared. And definitely not because you’re “not disciplined enough.”

It’s because your system doesn’t feel safe enough to access clarity yet.

This is one of the most misunderstood realities of modern leadership:
mental fog, indecision, procrastination, and overthinking are often nervous system symptoms, not cognitive failures.

When the body is holding tension, fear, pressure, or unprocessed emotion, the brain goes into protective mode:

• narrowing your perspective

• amplifying imagined risks

• blocking intuitive insight

• making simple decisions feel impossible

• convincing you that you need “more strategy”

Meanwhile, nothing is wrong with your intelligence.
Your system is simply carrying too much to let clarity through.

When your body settles, clarity rises.
Not gradually — often instantly.

That is why leaders who learn to regulate themselves outperform those who try to out-think their overwhelm.
Not because they have better ideas, but because they have better access to themselves.

This week, we’re going deeper into what happens physiologically in the moments where clarity disappears — and how to get it back.

Why Survival Mode Makes Strategic Thinking Impossible

When the body detects pressure or emotional overload, it prioritizes:

protection over perspective
survival over strategy
safety over clarity

Meaning:

You literally cannot see your next step from that state.

Your brain will generate:

• worst-case scenarios

• indecision

• perfectionism

• spiraling

• irritation

• overwhelm

• looping thoughts

All as attempts to keep you safe.

This is why high-achieving leaders hit invisible ceilings that don’t make sense on paper.

Their body is doing something their mind can’t override.

Clarity Is Not a Mindset — It’s a Nervous System State

This is the piece most leadership models ignore.

Clarity doesn’t come from thinking harder.
It comes from:

• grounding

• settling

• breathing

• softening

• feeling

• returning to presence

The moment your system feels safe, clarity comes back online effortlessly.

Ideas reconnect.
Decisions become obvious.
The emotional heaviness lifts.
The next move feels clear.

This is why your best insights come when you’re:

• walking

• showering

• stretching

• resting

• exhaling

These are the moments where your system unclenches enough to reveal the truth.

A Simple Way to Access Clarity When You’re Overwhelmed

Instead of forcing a decision, ask:

“What would help my body feel 5% safer right now?”

Not 100%.
Not perfect.
Just 5%.

Maybe it’s:

• a sip of water

• releasing your shoulders

• breathing deeper

• putting your phone down

• stepping away for two minutes

• naming the emotion

• acknowledging you’re scared

Small shifts create clarity faster than big pushes.

If you want to learn to regulate before you decide…

Download The Clarity Reset (a 5-minute grounding + a journal prompt that reveals what your mind can’t see yet).

It’s the fastest way to return to yourself when your system is overloaded.

Your clarity isn’t gone.
It’s waiting for you to settle.

Interested in working together? Book a complimentary Strategy session.

New here? Click here to learn more about why I created The Love Work.

Need to catch up?

The Vagus Nerve: A Perspective on Manifesting

How to De-stress and Down Regulate Your Nervous System with Somatic Awareness

Leading Through Listening: Why Empathy is the Key to Modern Leadership

The Great Unmasking: Dealing with Shame

There’s a shift happening in leadership, largely due to AI, but also the changing energy of the world.

For years, leadership has been built around:

• frameworks

• productivity systems

• strategy

• scaling

• communication models

But as the integration of AI into everyday processes, a demand for something different from leaders and the workforce at large is becoming more prevalent.

The leaders who remain effective, magnetic, and visionary in this new era will all share one thing:

They connect with their inner world first.

Not their strategy.
Not their intellect.
Not their output.

But:

• state

• clarity

• presence

• nervous system

• emotional capacity

• alignment

With compounding stress, increasing burnout rates, and higher levels of uncertainty, a different type of mastery, one of your inner world, is becoming necessary vs a nice-to-have.

When The Inner World Is Overloaded, Everything Becomes Harder

When your inner world is cluttered, pressured, or overwhelmed, everything becomes harder:

• decision-making

• leadership conversations

• focus

• impact

• relationships

• creativity

• communication

• intuition

Your mind gets noisy.

Your body tightens.

Your nervous system goes into overdrive.

Your perception narrows.

It becomes hard to know what’s real - you can’t feel the truth.

The next step seems impossible.

On the outside, this looks like:

• indecision

• overwhelm

• overthinking

• procrastination

• miscommunication

• emotional reactivity

But internally, it’s something far simpler:

A lack of safety.

The future of leadership is not about managing processes or widgets more efficiently — it’s about accessing deeper levels of insight and creativity to reveal human solutions when there seem to be none.

Here’s the truth:

You cannot outperform an anxious and fearful state.

When the nervous system is dysregulated, there is a proven physiological process that makes it difficult to:

• access perspective

• sense what’s aligned

• trust your intuition

• communicate clearly

• lead with presence

• make decisions

As the nervous system regulates and energy is ‘freed up’ —

You breathe differently.
Your mind opens again.
Your intuition wakes up.
Your body softens.

The next step becomes obvious.

This isn’t magic —
it’s the brilliance of the body.

Clarity Isn’t a Thought — It’s the Felt Experience of Alignment

You’ve experienced this:

• the idea that dropped in while walking

• the clarity that arrived in the shower

• the solution that appeared once you stopped forcing

• the boundary that became obvious after a single breath

• the decision that made sense only after you grounded

These moments reveal a deeper truth:

Clarity comes from a place within.

The calmer and more regulated you are, the higher levels of insight, creativity, and intelligence you have access to.

When anxious and overactive, your body’s systems begin to operate at lower levels to reserve energy.

This is why overthinking doesn’t lead to clarity.

Overthinking is what happens when you feel unsafe and reach for control.

Inner Clarity Is the Foundation of Dynamic Communication™

Every conversation you enter,
every decision you make,
every strategy you design —
begins long before words are spoken.

It begins in your:

• breath

• body

• tone

• presence

• emotional capacity

• inner alignment

Without inner clarity, communication becomes:

• hesitant

• reactive

• confusing

• overly complex

• misaligned

With inner clarity, communication becomes:

• grounded

• efficient

• honest

• direct

• resonant

• powerful

This is why Dynamic Communication isn’t just about how you speak.

It’s about how you feel inside yourself before you speak.

A Simple Way to Recognize Your Inner State

Before your next decision, take a moment to notice:

• what your body is signaling

• what emotion is present

• where you feel spacious or contracted

Not:

• What’s the right answer?

• What should I do?

But:

• Tight or open?

• Fast or slow?

• Contracted or grounded?

• Afraid or present?

This is awareness.
And awareness is the gateway to clarity.

Your body will tell the truth long before your mind interprets it.

Want to Cultivate Inner Clarity?

I created a simple, powerful practice called The Clarity Reset — a 5-minute grounding meditation + a guided journal prompt to help you:

• connect with your body

• regulate your system

• access intuition

• release overthinking

• feel into your next step with confidence and self-trust

• return to yourself

You don’t need more strategy.
You need more clarity.

And clarity always begins within.

Interested in working together? Book a complimentary Strategy session.

Hello Creator,

Burnout is often misunderstood as a dead-end, but what if it’s actually a signal for transformation?

In today’s exclusive post, we’ll break down the Pivot Point Framework—a three-stage model to help you recognize when burnout is asking you to shift, not just push through.

What’s Included:

1. An overview of the Pivot-Point scale and the three phases to assess and look at what recovery may begin to look like

2. Self-reflection exercises to identify where you are on the Pivot Point scale

3. A Burnout to Breakthrough Worksheet to map out your next steps (coming Friday)

Ready to turn burnout into your next breakthrough? Use the Pivot Point Framework and start designing your pivot today.

Read more

Burnout or Breakthrough? How to Use Early Symptoms as a Wake-Up Call

The Amazon Prime show Harlem—a three-season series following four girlfriends from NYU as they navigate life, love, career, and mental health against the backdrop of historic Harlem—hit on so many themes: non-traditional relationships, mental health, difficult choices around motherhood, and more.

One scene from season one stands out here. Camille, played by Meagan Good, sat in a long-overdue therapy session, reflecting on the life she had planned and how things were supposed to look by now.

A space I’ve ruminated all too often.

The therapist asked Camile, “When did you come up with your life plan?” to which Camille responded, “18”.

Then came the mic-drop moment—the underlying message of burnout in many cases.

The therapist responded, “Would you say you are the same person you were when you were 18.”

There comes a point in every Type A’s journey when we have to reevaluate decisions made by earlier versions of ourselves and reckon with what may or may not still align.

For some, this transition happens with ease. For Camille—and for many others—life sends strong signals before we’re willing to admit that something isn’t working.

I am others.

Burnout to Breakthrough

Research shows that individuals who fully recover from burnout often experience greater ease, fulfillment, deeper connections with loved ones, and a life more aligned with their values.

Research on post-traumatic growth shows at least three broad categories of perceived benefits:

1. Changes in self-perception

2. Changes in interpersonal relationships

3. Changed philosophy of life

The road to burnout recovery can be grueling, but the silver lining? It often leads to a transformed life—one with more fulfillment and purpose.

True recovery isn’t just about rest; it’s about making both internal and external shifts that turn hardship into opportunity.

The Internal & External Shift: From Burnout to Breakthrough

Burnout isn’t just about overwork. It’s often a sign of a deeper unmet need—one that, left unaddressed, slowly erodes well-being.

Believe it or not, we are meant to experience joy, fulfillment, and alignment.

When burnout symptoms arise, they often signal a misalignment between the life we built based on past decisions and the person we’ve since become.

Burnout recovery, requires both:

• Internal shifts (mindset, identity, beliefs)

• External shifts (lifestyle, work structure, boundaries)

For example, a high achiever who has spent years chasing external validation may suddenly crave work that feels more meaningful. But admitting that—especially when their entire identity has been built around accolades and achievement—can be deeply challenging.

I recently heard someone say: "Build a life that feels as good as it looks."

That shift requires both awareness and action—and often, a pivotal moment forces us to confront it.

The Breaking Point: A Catalyst for Transformation

Because our identities are so intertwined with the lives we’ve built, it’s easy to ignore the early signs of burnout—until life forces a reckoning.

Sometimes it comes as:

• An unexpected health scare

• A sudden loss of motivation

• A personal crisis

We’ve all heard stories of people who reevaluated their priorities after hitting a bottom.

After collapsing from exhaustion, Arianna Huffington redefined her career, launching a company focused on workplace well-being. Today, she continues to innovate in the health-tech space.

But while a breaking point can be a powerful catalyst for change, it doesn’t have to get there.

With awareness, we can make proactive choices long before we reach the edge.

The "Post-Burnout" Mindset Shift: Designing Life on Your Terms

Burnout isn’t something that happens overnight, and recovery isn’t instant either.

But that’s the good news—because small internal and external shifts, made consistently, begin to reverse the process and build a post-burnout mindset:

• A mindset where your values, actions, and time spent are aligned.

• A mindset that creates happiness and fulfillment in the present—not just as an end goal.

• A mindset that prioritizes sustainable success over relentless hustle.

Burnout recovery is ultimately about reinventing yourself—and the key to reinvention starts with your relationship with yourself.

I can personally attest to the joy and fulfillment that comes from rebuilding life from the inside out. It hasn’t always been easy, but it has been worth it.

Put Into Action

Recognizing burnout or the need for a pivot is the first step — awareness is key.

The Burnout Assessment Tool is a quick self-assessment you can use to begin seeing where you may be on the Burnout Spectrum and which areas of your life may be causing the greatest drain.

******

Interested in going deeper? Check out my upcoming Live Workshop, The Capacity Shift, Thursday, April 23rd, 11:00 am EST.

New here? Click here to learn more about why I created The Love Work.

Need to catch up?

The Burnout Spectrum: Understanding the 5 Stages of Burnout

The Vagus Nerve: A Perspective on Manifesting

Beyonce Bowl, Thinking Like a Futurist, and Having a Say

How to De-stress and Down Regulate Your Nervous System with Somatic Awareness

Leading Through Listening: Why Empathy is the Key to Modern Leadership

The Great Unmasking: Dealing with Shame

Introduction

The phone rang on the landline in the lab. Startled awake from where I had fallen asleep at my computer, I wondered who it could be.

I stumbled over to answer—it had to be someone looking for me. Only a few people knew I was there. It was a friend, informing me that my mother, who was 3,000 miles away, had been trying to reach me.

I had spent the night in the lab, where I had no reception. Desperate to find me, she had combed through my cell phone bill, which was still attached to hers, and called every California number she could find. It was just shy of 6:15 a.m. local time.

The Normalization of Burnout Behavior

This had become my life—late nights and early mornings. It would be over a decade before I could get a full night’s sleep. I had unknowingly trained my body to function on just five hours of rest (thankfully, I now enjoy a full eight hours).

Looking back, I see how unhealthy and unsustainable this work pattern was, but at the time, pulling all-nighters felt like the only way to keep up with the demands of graduate school. I believed I had too much to do and too little time.

In reality, there was so much more at play—something I’ll explore in my memoir—but, simply put, I was unknowingly setting myself on the path to burnout at a very young age.

These work and sleep habits didn’t end with graduate school. They followed me into management consulting and even into entrepreneurship. I took pride in my ability to accomplish so much in such little time. My ability to bunker down and focus was phenomenal—until it wasn’t.

Teetering on the Edge of Burnout (for Years)

Burnout crept in gradually. My ability to focus and sustain my energy diminished, little by little.

A longtime advocate of self-care, I did take breaks—I traveled and invested in my creativity. But every time I returned to a “normal” work schedule, the early warning signs of burnout resurfaced. At the time, there was no language for what I was experiencing. It would take another decade before I had the words to describe it.

I now know that I was constantly fluctuating along the burnout spectrum—sometimes edging closer, sometimes pulling back, but never fully recovering.

Eventually, the inconsistency of my recovery and my inability to create sustainable work habits led me straight into full-on burnout.

I felt like I had lost my motivation and drive. I wondered where my ability to focus and complete things had gone. It felt like I had lost everything.

Redefining Success

Life forced me to slow down and prioritize self-care.

Due to serious external circumstances—including temporarily losing my eyesight for two weeks—I had to find a new way of living.

I realized I had been playing a dangerous game with burnout, normalizing unhealthy work habits (and cultures) for over 20 years, until everything came to a screeching halt.

I had entered high-performance, high-pressure environments at a young age, and in doing so, I had developed the limiting belief that burnout was synonymous with success.

Even now, part of me still asks: But isn’t it?

No—it is not.

It took a complete reorganization of my life—starting from within and radiating outward—to finally see that hustle culture, at least for me, is a myth. It is not my path to success. If anything, it has been an obstacle.

I still value high performance and excellence in my work. But now, I achieve it in ways that are aligned with my well-being.

I won’t get into the politics of how and why hustle culture serves only a select few—at least not today.

What I will say is this: Slowing down allows you to find your true north. Authenticity and purpose provide the fuel that sustains you.

Looking Forward

The burnout epidemic is more than a crisis—it’s a signal. A call for transformation in how we approach work and life. The growing emphasis on wellness and mental health by both individuals and organizations is a direct response to this urgent need.

As an organizational development consultant, I believe the future of OD lies in fully integrating mental health and wellness into the fabric of organizations. It can no longer be treated as a perk or an optional benefit attached to select compensation packages.

It is fundamental—to humanity, to culture, and to the evolution of business. While it has always been essential, I am grateful that we are now in a moment where its impact on the bottom line is both undeniable and widely recognized.

I’m encouraged to see Gen Z embracing this shift early in their careers. Now, it’s time for Millennials, Gen X-ers, Baby Boomers, and beyond to step up—modeling sustainable work practices while learning from the next generation in the process.

Paid subscribers find the assessment here to see if you are at risk of burnout.

******

Whenever you are ready, here are 2 ways I can help you:

1. Suve: Burnout Recovery Coaching. Book 15-minute call to learn more.

2. Become a paid subscriber. Get full access to weekly frameworks to apply concepts to your life and business.

Hello Creator,

Burnout often creeps in because we don’t notice the slow depletion of our energy. This tracker will help you become more aware of how different activities impact you—so you can start making intentional shifts toward sustainable performance.

Step 1: Track Your Energy Patterns

For one week, log your activities and how they affect your energy. You can use a simple table like this:

Read more

Like many I spent hours watching and rewatching Kendrick’s halftime show decoding the brilliance that is him and Dave Free,

As part of this rabbit hole I gladly journey, I also (very much post game) watched the pre-show interview with Kendrick and the gems dropped…ever so subtly.

The interviewer asked him, in a few different ways, about his journey and process—did he see himself at the Super Bowl? Is he awed by himself the way he inspires awe in others? Each time, he brought it back to two things:

• Be here now—living in the present moment.

• The craft.

When asked if he ever imagined himself performing at the Super Bowl, he responded, “I was just thinking about laying that next track and splitting $5 at Church’s.”

Later, when questioned about how his creative process has evolved, he simply said, “I’m just thinking about the art, the craft—writing like I would be writing a book—and then I think about how I am going to perform it.”

That brief interview was packed with wisdom. It made me reflect on the natural flow of energy when we align with our purpose and craft.

And specifically, the relationship between the burnout epidemic and the mass illusion around what it takes to be successful.

Understanding Burnout: A Conversation We Need to Have

Burnout is an intersectional epidemic, touching mental health, workplace culture, organizational development, and psychology.

The World Health Organization (WHO) classifies burnout as an occupational phenomenon and a workplace disorder—not just a state of mind but a real, physiological condition. However, in many environments influenced by hustle culture and traditional institutional mindsets that deprioritize well-being, burnout is often mistaken for laziness, procrastination, or a lack of resilience. In reality, it is none of these.

The term resilience itself deserves to be unpacked in our society.

The fact remains: burnout is a diagnosable disorder with mental, emotional, and physical impacts. It cannot simply be “pushed through.” In fact, pushing through may be the very catalyst for burnout symptoms.

The Burnout Spectrum: The 5 Stages of Burnout

A recent McKinsey study on burnout found that:

• 25% of Gen Zs

• 13% of Millennials

• 13% of Gen Xs

• 8% of Baby Boomers

reported feeling emotionally distressed with low levels of well-being.

Burnout does not happen overnight. It is a gradual process—a journey where symptoms develop and intensify over time, often due to chronic stress without renewal or recovery.

Stage I: Lack of Recovery

The first stage of burnout, as simple as it sounds, is a lack of recovery from stress. This is something many balancing work, family, and life can likely relate to.

Lack of recovery means encountering stressful events with limited opportunities to recuperate. Sound familiar?

The widespread nature of this stage is reflected in the long waitlists for yoga and Pilates classes across major cities. I personally began a daily yoga practice the summer before my senior year at Howard while participating in a research program at UC Berkeley.

At the time, I didn’t realize I was building a practice that would become a lifelong anchor. If I knew then what I know now, I would have prioritized recovery more intentionally.

Which leads to the next stage…

Stage II: Changes in Stress Physiology

The body is designed to heal and recover—but only if we allow it. When stress accumulates without adequate recovery, our baseline stress level rises.

This creates a new internal ‘normal’ where stress levels are consistently higher. Over time, this can lead to:

• Hyperactivity

• Sleep difficulties

• Inability to relax

Without intervention, this leads to Stage III: Chronic Stress.

Stage III: Chronic Stress

At this point, symptoms become more severe:

• Headaches

• Digestive issues

• Difficulty focusing

• Feelings of anxiety and panic

• Social conflicts and/or withdrawal

Individually, these symptoms might seem like everyday struggles. Many people accept them as part of life. But when left unaddressed, they become chronic, driving burnout deeper into the body and mind.

Stage IV: Pseudosychopathology

As chronic stress builds, our internal systems—responsible for mood, cognition, and behavior—begin to deteriorate.

At this stage, pseudosychopathology sets in. This means a reduced ability to process complexity, leading to:

• Rigid thinking and problem-solving

• Increased suspicion or paranoia

• Decreased creativity and empathy

This phase is often mistaken for maladaptive personality traits or other diagnoses. It’s one of the reasons burnout is so difficult to pinpoint and why its classification as a mental health disorder remains debated.

From an organizational perspective, burnout at this stage can impact company culture, while on a personal level, it can distort one’s entire self-view.

Stage V: Clinical Burnout

At this final stage, burnout becomes debilitating. Individuals may need to take extended breaks from work or life responsibilities due to:

• Emotional breakdowns

• Severe fatigue

• Cognitive impairment

The World Health Organization defines burnout as:

“A syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed. It is characterized by three dimensions:

• Feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion

• Increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism

• Reduced professional efficacy”

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Conclusion

Burnout is a complex issue. Despite its severe physical and psychological consequences, it is still clinically defined as a work-related disorder rather than a broader health condition.

A good starting point is to assess your work-related stress factors and explore steps to mitigate and reverse burnout’s impact.

******

Interested in going deeper? Check out my upcoming Live Workshop, The Capacity Shift, Thursday, April 23rd, 11:00 am EST.

Below is a self-assessment to gauge your risk of burnout. The assessment is for intormational purposes only to gauge the worklife areas that may be causing stress.

Instructions:

Rate each statement from 1 to 5 (1 = Strongly Disagree, 5 = Strongly Agree). Add up your scores in each section to determine your risk level.

Workload (Emotional & Physical Exhaustion)

1. I feel emotionally drained at the end of most workdays.

2. I often feel like there’s too much on my plate and not enough time to complete everything.

3. I frequently work outside my regular hours to catch up.

4. I find it difficult to mentally disconnect from work, even during my personal time.

5. I experience physical symptoms (headaches, fatigue, insomnia) due to my workload.

Control (Autonomy & Decision-Making Power)

6. I feel that I have enough autonomy in my role to make decisions that impact my work.

7. I often feel like my work is dictated by external pressures rather than my own priorities.

8. I have the resources and tools necessary to do my job effectively.

9. I feel powerless to change things about my job that are stressful or frustrating.

10. My job allows me to have a sense of control over my schedule and tasks.

Reward (Recognition & Compensation)

11. I feel recognized and appreciated for my contributions at work.

12. My compensation and benefits adequately reflect the effort I put into my work.

13. I feel like my hard work is acknowledged, even in non-monetary ways (e.g., praise, promotions).

14. I feel motivated and energized by my work rather than undervalued or drained.

15. I receive constructive feedback that helps me grow and improve.

Community (Work Relationships & Social Support)

16. I feel a sense of belonging and connection with my colleagues or team.

17. I have at least one trusted person at work I can turn to for support.

18. I experience meaningful collaboration in my work environment.

19. My workplace culture encourages openness and mutual support.

20. Conflict or tension at work is manageable and does not significantly drain my energy.

Fairness (Trust & Equity in the Workplace)

21. I feel that my workplace treats employees fairly and equitably.

22. I believe that promotions and opportunities are based on merit rather than favoritism.

23. My concerns about fairness or mistreatment are taken seriously when I raise them.

24. I feel that policies and expectations in my workplace are applied consistently to everyone.

25. I rarely experience feelings of resentment or frustration about how I am treated compared to others.

Values (Alignment Between Personal & Organizational Purpose)

26. My work aligns with my personal values and what matters most to me.

27. I feel proud of the work I do and the impact it has.

28. I rarely feel a moral or ethical conflict with my workplace’s decisions.

29. I feel a sense of purpose and meaning in my daily tasks.

30. My job allows me to contribute to something greater than just a paycheck.

Scoring & Interpretation

For each category (Workload, Control, Reward, Community, Fairness, Values), sum up your scores and compare them to the ranges below:

• 25-30 → Healthy & Balanced 🟢 (This area is well-aligned with your needs, and you’re at low risk of burnout here!)

• 16-24 → At Risk 🟠 (You may be experiencing stress or dissatisfaction in this area—pay attention to signs of burnout.)

• 15 or below → Burnout Warning 🔴 (This area is likely contributing to burnout. Take action to address it before it worsens.)

Next Steps & Call to Action

1. Identify Patterns:

• Which area(s) scored the lowest for you?

• Are there consistent themes across your responses?

******

Interested in going deeper? Check out my upcoming Live Workshop, The Capacity Shift, Thursday, April 23rd, 11:00 am EST.

Intro

I once had a friend who wanted something so badly and I worked with her on manifesting it - and she did.

However, once she achieved it, she was in a constant state of panic. Every email, meeting, and halfway remark from her colleagues sent her nervous system into overdrive. She’d call me multiple times a day freaking out.

I realized that even though she manifested the position she wanted she had not aligned her nervous system with having it. This is one of the reasons why leveling up can often feel challenging and comes with extreme levels of stress.

It is often why often with time if we stick with it and gain confidence in our ability to be on that level it seemingly becomes easier.

The Muddling of Self-Worth and Productivity (and how that fries the nervous system)

It’s an integrated matter of belief and how that impacts the nervous system. Once you begin to believe that you deserve something, feeling comfortable enough to have it feels more aligned.

This often comes with knowing you can or have done the things to feel worthy of deserving it. Depending on the level of stress, triggers, and internalized shame involved in a situation this can seem like a moving target.

Learning to work to heal and align your nervous system can make transitions, manifesting, and leveling up much easier and more accessible.

We begin this in the pre-work for, Get Embodied: The Grounding Art of Leadership from the Inside-Out.

This is not to discount hard work and effort, it is to say that the creative and manifestation process doesn’t have to be wrapped up in grind culture, constant stress, and overwhelm.

If you’re anything like me unearthing and dismantling the idea that success and grind go hand and hand can seem like a far leap.

Decolonizing Work and Self-Worth

One way to begin to do this is to reconnect with your inner power and intrinsic worth. You are worthy already and the more you believe and align with this the more you will let your inner light shine through and bless this planet in ways you most desire.

As part of this healing shame and learning to reset and calm the nervous system are integral.

I have noticed a pervasive belief in needing to sacrifice health and wellness for professional success. Anxiety disorders, high blood pressure, and autoimmune diseases are rampant among high-paying roles that come with great pay, perks, and bonuses.

These symptoms are just the body’s way of telling you you’re out of alignment. Taking the time to realign will provide everything you need and more.

It is time to reclaim our beliefs, energy, and nervous system from this constant state of flight, fight, or fawn.

It doesn’t have to be an either-or.

As the Feminine re-emerges it is becoming more imperative to connect with and listen to the body as part of your self-care and leadership practice. Ignoring one for the sake of the other is becoming an impossible feat as a New Earth emerges.

If you’re interested in how to reconnect with your body and bring this wisdom into your communication, decision-making, and leadership register for our flagship course Get Embodied.

In this course, I cover exactly this - in a practical roadmap for reconnecting with your inner worth and power and activating that in your daily life.

A Few Simple Practices with a New Perspective

Feel it being done. This is very much manifestation 101 This simple practice allows you to work through the nervousness and anxiety of receiving something - allowing it to come with more ease.

The simple practice of feeling it being done creates a sense of comfort and readiness in the body and nervous system of having it so.

Practice mindfulness. The 3 Fs - fight, flight, and fawn are ways the nervous system responds to heightened moments of fear. When true threats are at hand they allow the human body to respond and survive through insurmountable odds.

When true threats are not at hand yet situations or experiences cause internal triggers that make it feel just as real - these responses hijack the nervous system, cloud judgment, and cause significant stress on the body.

Learning to notice when these responses arise and simply observe before responding can go a very long way.

Practice somatic awareness. A level beyond mindfulness in which you become present to thoughts, feelings, emotions, and sensations - somatic awareness.

Learning to take this level of awareness a step further and move, release, and transform the associated energy in your body.

Work with the Vagus Nerve. The Vagus Nerve, also known as the wandering nerve is the longest cranial nerve in the body and part of the parasympathetic nervous system. It is responsible for calming the body and restoring homeostasis after a flight, fight, or fawn response.

When the vagus nerve is regulated and functioning properly we learn to release stress and return to a regulated state of activity for the health and wellbeing of the body.

Working with the Vagus Nerve is direct access to healing and releasing an overactive or unregulated nervous system.

Conclusion

Many times when there is something that we are not manifesting or creating it is because it feels too far outside of our comfort zone and the nervous system response feels too drastic to maintain long enough to create it.

This becomes increasingly challenging when we are already in a heightened nervous system response. Small things feel huge when already in a constant stress response.

When you learn to regulate and align your nervous system more regularly owning your power and vision from the inside out can become a natural part of your process. This can quantum leap your leadership and manifestation.

It’s not a matter of time, it’s a matter of alignment.

Abraham Hicks

Black Cake, a series on Hulu based on the novel by Charmaine Wilkerson was an emotional narrative that couldn’t help but bring reflection.

Without giving away any spoilers ( I highly recommend you watch it), it is an 8-episode series where a mother from the Caribbean posthumously revealed unearthing secrets about her life to her children thorough a series of audios.

It got me thinking about the secrets we keep - some knowingly and some out of suppressed memory. We may think we are hiding something but truthfully it lives in our bodies and nervous systems weighing us down each day we choose not to confront it.

Sometimes telling ourselves the truth is the hardest part. Which is often why we disconnect from our bodies and emotions making it seemingly easier to cope, at least for the short term.

The craziest is part of the heaviness of the secrets become a familiar place to live. Without realzing and sometimes without even knowing out of survival we acclimate to thoughts, patterns, and emotions that keep us small and out of alignment with our true selves.

This is where and why embodiment work is so powerful, healing, and liberating. It allows us to connect with the truths we are not confronting yet leave clues all over our lives - beginning with our nervous system.

Breathwork is one of the ways we can begin to tap into these emotions, heal our nervous systems, and in turn heal our lives.

What makes breathwork so effective?

Breathwork can have a positive impact on vagal tone, which refers to the activity of the vagus nerve. The vagus nerve is a key component of the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for promoting relaxation and restoring balance in the body.

Cardiac vagal tone is linked with self-regulation at the cognitive, emotional, social, and health levels.⁽¹⁾ Improving vagal tone has been associated with various health benefits, including reduced stress, improved digestion, and enhanced overall well-being.

Engaging in intentional breathwork triggers the relaxation response, counteracting the "fight or flight" response associated with sympathetic nervous system activation.

As the parasympathetic system is activated, the vagus nerve plays a crucial role in promoting a state of calm and balance.

Why does this matter?

When it comes to moving outside of our comfort zone for reasons such as growth, trying new things, and doing things that feel scary - improving vagal tone can increase the resilience of our body and system in being able to take on these mental and emotional risks in healthy and sustainable ways.

At a high level Increasing overall vagal tone supports the cultivation inner resilience and the ability to move outside the familiar to expand your container to love, receive, and move in this world.

Compoundingly, when it comes to the weight of secres, trauma, and suppressed emotions a hidden stress load on the mind and body creates a higher ‘baseline’ of stress that is already already active on the mental, emotional and physical systems.

Furthermore, suppressed memories and emotions can be triggered and on a physiological and mental level it can literally feel like one is living in the initial triggering event(s) in the moment.

Being able to heal and release the energy of these traumatic memories and emotions is where the magic lay for a society that is no stranger to trauma.

“...we have the ability to regulate our own physiology, including some of the so-called involuntary functions of the body and brain, through such basic activities as breathing, moving, and touching…”

- Bessel Van Der Kol, MD “The Body Keep Score”

3 simple practices to get started

Create 5-15 minutes in your schedule daily to commit to this

Many will say begin with 30-60 days of integrating a new practice into your life. I would say one moon cycle coupled with some intention setting is a strong foundation.

A solid start is commit to 7 days, once your 7 days in you can commit to another 7. I personally notice when I integrate a new pracitce I feel and see the difference after a few days and week creates transformation.

Start now by setting the intention to integrate breathwork into your daily self-care routine even if it is only for 5 minutes.

Practice Deep Breathing:

Engaging in deep breathing exercises, especially diaphragmatic breathing, activates the diaphragm and stimulates the vagus nerve. This type of breathing involves slow, deep inhalations in which the belly expands and slow exhales in which the belly contracts.

This is also called belly breathing, deep chest breathing may be more accessible.⁽²⁾

Slow breathing patterns, such as those practiced in certain types of meditation and mindfulness exercises, have been shown to increase vagal tone. Slowing down the breath helps activate the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting a calming effect.

Lengthening the exhalation phase of the breath can be particularly effective. This is because the vagus nerve is more active during exhalation. Techniques like "4-7-8" breathing, where you inhale for a count of 4, hold the breath for 7, and exhale for 8, can be beneficial.

Close with affirmations or a short visualization

Taking the time to breathe deeply and slow your breath relaxes the mind and body. This is a great time to visualize or say affirmations embodying your future self to begin to lock in the vibrational thoughts and frequency of that which you are stepping into.

It could be as simple as imagining yourself setting boundaries with ease, speaking your truth, or more easily receiving and giving love.

Mind-Body Connection

Breathwork is often used as a tool to connect the mind and body. By focusing on the breath, one can become more aware of bodily sensations and reduce stress. This increased mind-body connection can positively influence the autonomic nervous system, including the vagus nerve.

It also cultivates the ability to practice somatic awareness - which we get into in the next chapter in this series on the Vagus Nerve.

References
1 Heart Rate Variability and Cardiac Vagal Tone in Psychophysiological Research – Recommendations for Experiment Planning, Data Analysis, and Data Reporting PMC5316555
2 Are You a Belly Breather or a Chest Breather? Does it Matter?

Introduction

In today's fast-paced and complex world, effective leadership requires more than just technical skills and strategic thinking. It demands a deep understanding of people, their motivations, and the underlying dynamics that shape organizational behavior.

I once had a client that was going through a company wide business process and systems redesign. There was one group - a team of engineers that were stationed in a separate location and kind of did their own thing.

They, already being away from the central location and thought of as outliers were very resistant to key changes.

I was brought in to help understand their concerns and ultimately create alignment and buy-in for the redesign.

This project was relatively early in my career and I learned then how far empathy can go.

Before I arrived at the engineers’ site I was briefed on how stuck in their ways they were and how they had their own culture and way of doing things that was different from the rest of the company.

Being an engineer myself I kind of felt for them as I feel like we sometimes get incorrectly pigeon-holed.

After a few days onsite it became clear to me that while the team loved their independence and having their own flow, they wanted to feel more apart of the larger organization. They wanted to feel heard and valued for the large contribution they were to the company.

So I did just that. I served as an intermediary for listening to their concerns and needs and relayed their message to the steering committee whom took heed.

Within three weeks the edits they needed for the redesign to support their work were signed off on and the project was able to move forward.

At the time, I was confused as to why there was such a huge breakdown (and build up) around this team and adoption to change. I now realize a key component was missing - empathy.

For many years in my career I was the person that came in and created alignment and buy-in when there seemed to be none. 9 out of 10 times (maybe more) a breakdown in communication do to lack of understanding by both parties and feelings getting hurt (yes, it’s business but humans and emotions go hand in hand).

I have learned one key lesson through all of this - by cultivating empathy, leaders can gain invaluable insights, build stronger relationships, and make better informed strategic decisions.

This at times requires slowing down and going deep (to go fast).

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The Power of Depth

Going deep means delving beyond the surface-level information and metrics that often dominate decision-making. It involves exploring the unspoken dynamics, emotions, and underlying motivations that influence individuals and teams.

By taking the time to sense these deeper layers, leaders can uncover hidden opportunities, address underlying challenges, and foster a more productive and harmonious work environment.

Here are a few ways going deep can support your leadership:

Understanding Biases. One of the most significant barriers to effective leadership is unconscious bias. Biases create blind spots in interacting with our team and stakeholders, making decisions, and assessing opportunities.

The most prevalent example in leadership today is regarding creating inclusive teams and environments. The same bias that can have a leader overlook a qualified candidate due to their name can have the same leader miss a strategic opportunity right in front of them.

Cultivating Relationships. Empathy is the cornerstone of strong relationships. By understanding the perspectives, emotions, and experiences of others, leaders can foster trust, respect, and a sense of belonging. This not only improves team morale but also enhances collaboration and productivity.

When leaders demonstrate empathy, they show their team members that they care about their well-being and are committed to creating a positive work environment. This can lead to increased employee engagement, higher job satisfaction, and improved performance.

Additionally, empathetic leaders are often more effective at resolving conflicts and building consensus among team members.

Identifying and Addressing Organizational Issues. Going deep allows leaders to uncover the underlying causes of organizational problems, rather than simply treating the symptoms. By understanding the root causes, leaders can develop more targeted and effective solutions. For example, if high employee turnover is a persistent issue, going deep might reveal underlying factors such as a unhealthy work culture, lack of career development opportunities, or inadequate compensation.

By addressing the root causes of problems, leaders can create lasting change and avoid recurring issues. This can save the organization time, money, and resources, while also improving employee morale and productivity. Furthermore, addressing the root causes can help to prevent future problems from arising, leading to a more stable and resilient organization.

Making Better Decisions Under Pressure. In today's fast-paced business environment, leaders are often faced with making critical decisions under tight deadlines. By cultivating empathy, leaders can approach these situations with a more balanced and thoughtful perspective. Empathy helps us to consider the potential consequences of our actions on others, avoid impulsive decisions, and make choices that align with our organization's values.

When leaders make decisions based on empathy, they are more likely to consider the long-term implications of their choices and avoid short-sighted solutions. This can help create sustainable strategies that benefit both the organization and its stakeholders.

Additionally, empathetic leaders are often better able to navigate complex situations and find creative solutions to challenges.

Conclusion
In a world that often rewards speed and efficiency, it can be tempting to prioritize quick fixes and superficial solutions. However, by slowing down and going deep, leaders can unlock the power of empathy and gain a deeper understanding of their teams, their organizations, and themselves. This deeper understanding can lead to more informed decisions, stronger relationships, and ultimately, greater success.

Empathy is not just a soft skill; it is a critical leadership competency that can help organizations thrive in today's complex and rapidly changing world. By cultivating empathy, leaders can create a more positive, productive, and sustainable work environment for themselves and their teams.

Our Dynamic Communication workshop teaches value-driven leaders a proven framework for viewing an issue or problem through an empathetic lens, cultivating empathy, and creating results. Schedule a call to learn more.

Hello and Happy New Year! I am happy to announce The Love Work’s first event of 2025 and you are invited.

Join me on Tuesday, January 7th @1pm EST for an exciting online event where we explore the purpose and use of Artificial Intelligence in our daily lives.

This event is a one hour masterclass that will help you seamlessly integrate AI into your workflow with intention and let it be a tool that serves you in 2025.

It is free for all subscribers.

Paid subscribers will have access to the recording and special worksheets. Free subscribers can also register for the recording and worksheets via an upgrade option on the event page.

This master class will cover how to create a mindset for using AI, common AI use cases, an overview of prompt engineering, and integrating AI into your workflows.

In this class you will learn:

1. How to cultivate a mindset that helps you understand the purpose of AI in your professional and personal life to have it be a tool that serves you
   

2. Four use cases that arise daily work and business to help spark ideas that you can integrate into your workflow today
   

3. How to create prompts that allow you to more easily communicate with Generative AI to get the results you want
   

4. How to create consistency using workflows that integrate AI to increase efficiency and quality in your outputs

Click here to register for this free event.

See you then!

I died and someone brought me back to life. But never to my senses. ~ Raye/Beyonce

Beyonce’s Christmas Day halftime show delivered. It was packed with symbolism, inspiration, and iconic American history. Through lyrics, visuals, and strong cultural references it told a story, posed a question, and was a call to action – all at once.

As the beat dropped on Freedom from her 2016 Lemonade album, she shifted right before our eyes. Tossing off her long white Roberto Cavalli coat and shedding her “Cowboy Carter” sash, she transformed into a Rock-and-Roll reinvention of herself.

Freedom, from the album that told her personal story of triumph, played for seconds and was the only song that wasn’t from Cowboy Carter. Was it a call for personal liberation? We all know the current news headlines around her marriage.

Or was it a call for the collective? The sound flashed me back to the 2016 BET Awards with Kendrick Lamar rising from underground belting, ‘revolution televised, hoping that you see the sign.’

Collective liberation always begins at a personal level.

It was a look back to look forward moment in my eyes — which I think we are all faced with right now.

As 2024 creeps to a close - a year that has seen the meteoric rise of AI, a tumultuous election, war, genocide, and another expose of the horrid yet covered behavior of a very public figure - many are asking what does the future hold and how can we best prepare?

There’s a lot of uncertainty on multiple fronts which can naturally be a cause for fear. Living with uncertainty is not something that many have been well primed for.

In light of all of this, I want to encourage us to begin thinking about our futures on all aforementioned levels as something we actively create.

It is time to fully come to our senses - acknowledging the signals that cause us fear, those that bring hope, the visions that come with both and to be proactive about it all.

Think Like a Futurist

Researchers and futurists at the Institute for the Future (IFTF) in Silicon Valley are actively involved in forecasting, simulating, and gamifying potential future outcomes in order to proactively choose and work towards creating desired futures.

They define the future as 10 years from now - giving the space and ‘safety’ to reduce concern for what seems most pressing short term and think more long term about the world we want to create.

There are futurists imagining futures around food, healthcare, work, education, climate, housing, and many other areas.

Thinking like a futurist shifts the fear and uncertainty of ‘what is happening to me’ to action in choosing and creating the future we want to see.

The FIA Cycle

Futurists at IFTF use what they call the FIA (foresight-insight-action) cycle to begin thinking about the future and taking action.

They begin with a foresight, this could be a signal or idea that you have about the future from something you’ve observed. You probably can think of one that is pressing for you right now. As you consider this topic ask yourself the question, “what does this mean for…?”.

As you think about what this means for you, your community, society - write it down. You are developing insights.

These insights, especially when you begin to think about them from the perspective of 10 years out, where it feels less pressing and dire yet maybe urgent and doable can then generate action steps to begin preparing for the future you want.

Integrating Future Thinking into Your Life

I realize thinking about the future, especially around certain charged topics can feel overwhelming and even like a luxury afforded by a few.

Luckily with a little practice and honoring the ways you are already thinking like a futurist you will allow cultivate the skill with intention.

Honor the multi-hyphenate in you. It has been shown that people with multi-disciplinary backgrounds are well positioned to solve societal issues. Many of you are multi-hyphenates with various skillsets.

I would go as far to say that any member of a group that has had to code switch in society is naturally multi-hyphenated as life has required it of you.

While in the past this may have felt like a source of tension in wondering how to best focus your time and energy - know that it is a clear and necessary skill for the future.

It makes you a better problem solver being able to call on various skillsets as you work to forecast, imagine, and gamify various futures in moving towards chosen outcomes.

Cultivate the empath within. The sometimes consuming ability to sense is something that empaths often struggle with. It however is a skill that when cultivated and directed with intention will allow you to have greater foresight and insight into signals about the future.

The ability to sense the potential impact of current events, new technological releases, policies, and any signal that is calling your attention is valuable.

As you cultivate this skill it is important to get grounded and identify the signals that concern you. You already have a lot of foresight and insights about them swirling around.

They may be causing fear, they may be a source of hope, maybe a little of both. Begin to identify the tangible sources (an event, policy, new observed behavior) of a concern, fear, or encouragement as a signal.

Instead of letting it swirl around and take up mental space, write it down and see it as foresight and get curious - what does this mean for you and your community?

Channel the anxious energy into curiosity knowing that you are taking the steps to choose and create your future. As you do this you will have aha moments (insights) and get ideas that propel you into action.

As you gain insight you may see the future trending in the direction that you desire or away from it. This is where the rubber meets the road. Envision the future you desire.

This will help you create the mindset of knowing you can have a say in choosing the future you want to see - whether it is having an impact to shift the direction of things or helping it to move in the direction you see it going.

Envisioning your desired future regularly, has a way of creating possibility and action towards it.

Take the inspired action. The great thing about thinking like a futurist is working towards a future that is 10 years out. While thinking more short term the overwhelm and anticipation may feel like it’s too late. Yet longer term gives you the space to walk towards it.

As you begin to imagine what you want the future to look like in 10 years hopelessness can turn into urgent optimism. The actions you take today will plant the seeds for tomorrow.

It won’t take 10 years for to begin to see and experience progress. 10 years is enough time for massive change to occur.

I will reiterate — the time and space to think and imagine the future may seem like a luxury when life is life-ing.

However, if you begin to create the habit of redirecting the mental and emotional energy that is used worrying or in fear you may find that this luxury becomes a necessity that propels your life forward creating more energy and time.

Remember it’s ok to start small, it could be a change on a personal level that you want to create in your life.

It may be a movement or company or initiative that you choose to start.

However it looks for you, creating the mindset and habit of thinking like a futurist, someone that has a say in choosing and creating the future (because you do) will reduce fear and make you an active participant in doing so.

It’s always striking to me that the first day of Winter is in late December; growing up in NY, it always felt like we’d been in Winter for at least a month.

Also this same day, the Winter Solstice, is the longest night of the year, symbolizing the return to light as the days slowly grow in length. (Doesn’t it feel like the darkness is just getting started?)

Nonetheless, this return to light doesn’t come first without the journey back through the dark.

Darkness is often associated with the unknown, uncertainty, and fear.

There is something beautiful about being with what lay beneath the surface. It can be a gateway to deeper levels of connection within and with others.

As we enter the winter holiday season – a time for reflection, family, celebration, grief – core things that make us intrinsically human…

I was going to write about the emerging future (we’ll save that for next week) and decided to share some grounding principles to anchor our journey within, to self and being with the ones we love.

These simple ideas can feel fleeting as we get caught up in the chaos of work, life, and trying to manage it all.

Yet returning to them can be a great reminder as we connect with emotions that we may not have allowed ourselves to feel in a long time.

1. You are enough. You always have been and you always will be. You may have certain goals and milestones that you want to achieve and that is great. Reaching them won’t make you enough and having not yet reached them doesn’t make you not enough. Both sides of this coin is a dangerous one to live in.

2. Comparison is the thief of joy. As we enter a reflective and introspective phase it can be tempting to compare…sometimes coming out ahead and sometimes coming out behind. There will always be someone that seems to be on either side - but if you’re looking over you’re not focused on your lane.

Reflect on your journey and what fulfills you. Living someone else’s life is likely not the path to your fulfillment.

3. Boundaries are gifts to a relationship. Sometimes what feels like an impossible scenario - is a boundary seeking to be set.

   
   I have noticed that often times when a relationship is incredibly frustrating and challenging to deal with it is because a boundary is calling to be set and it can feel easier to avoid or complain about the person than to have the difficult conversation.

   This week try having the difficult conversation with intention and love.

4. Haters are fans in the shadow. They are triggered by something you spark in them that they’re not yet ready to be with. Keep shining and owning your power - it is a gift to the world. Your job is to not take the hate personally, to trust your inner guidance, and to continue charting your path.

And last but not least,

5. You do not have to perform the holidays. It sometimes can feel like the holidays have to look a certain way for them to be happy or instagrammable. If this is your jam, then go for it. If not, find what it looks and feels like for you and lean into that.

++Life loves you (even when it doesn’t feel like it).

Have a happy holiday week!

With Love,

Tiffany

I recently left all social media channels in favor of substack. I was already ‘off’ not regularly using the other channels and I finally officially deactivated all accounts when I moved to substack.

Social media had become like a love-addicted affair.

One you know is bad for you yet return to nightly to drink of its spout.

One when you’re in the thick of it, it feels soo damn good yet the next morning you have doubts if it was the best decision (or the worse mistake of your life).

Technology has such a pull - social media, our devices, and now the latest allure - arguably unavoidable, potentially all-consuming, and here at our doorstep, inside of our browsers, phones, smart glasses, code, and workflows: Generative AI.

This week’s topic specifically Gemini 2.0.

On Decemer 11th Google announced it’s latest AI rollout – Gemini 2.0,

Side note, is it just me or has Google improved with it’s announcements? Not Apple level but leaps and bounds from where it's been.

Gemini 2.0 is a series of AI models with Google Flash being the model most heavily featured this week.

Google Flash and a trio of experimental applications Project Astra, Project Mariner, and Jules were the feature of the announcement post .

The headline read, “Introducing Gemini 2.0: our new AI model for the agentic era”.

The Agentic Era

The agentic era speaks to the use of AI models that, “can understand more about the world around you, think multiple steps ahead, and take action on your behalf, with your supervision”, writes Google CEO Sundar Pichal in the announcement.

Gemini 2.0 allows for the development of AI ‘agents’ that can act and in some cases make decisions on the behalf of humans – working towards Google’s vision of a universal assistant.

Project Astra, Project Mariner, and Jules are examples of AI assistants at work.

Project Astra integrating with your phone (and eventually glasses) is more informational and instructional as you navigate the world – think book suggestions while at a book store or suggest a restaurant on your route home.

Project Mariner is a Chrome extension and thus browser-centric with the ability to complete browser tasks – think book flights and grocery shop – on your behalf.

While Jules is a coding assistant powered by Gemini 2.0 - that is right the developer’s very own AI assistant to assist in writing and debugging code.

The agentic era, now fully at our doorstep will force leaders and organizations to answer some very important questions regarding what will and will not be apart of their workflow and company culture.

Why Does this Matter

AI agents have the ability and probablity of impacting organizations on multiple levels:

1. Culture

2. Output Quality

3. Workflow

4. Roles and Responsibilities

5. Mental Health and Wellbeing of Employees

just to name a few…

Leaders and team members may have the experience of feeling like this is happening to them. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

It is possible to stay informed and have a hand in directing how this will rollout in your organization.

What to Do About It

The impact of AI on organizations, workforce, and workflow is a concern for employees at all levels and is the cause of serious fear within organizations.

Many organizations have been integrating various AI tools, largely through SaaS offerings in HR and Business Development for example.

Similarly, many employees have already begun unofficially or officially integrating AI tools into their personal workflow whether it’s to draft emails, legal documents, or even product specs.

Not as many organizations or employees have taken the time to think about, document, and make conscious decisions as to how they will and will not use generative and even predictive AI tools.

Below are a few suggestions of where to begin the conversation or expand on your approach in addressing the impact of generative AI in your organization.

Stay Informed

Do exactly what you are doing now, subscribe to newsletters like The Love Work, which you are reading now and other outlets that will help you stay abreast and strategically think about the changes that are happening.

It can feel like drinking from a firehose, so do a little bit at a time.

Integrate time to learn more into your weekly tasks. Consider hiring a consultant to lead a lunch and learn to help you and your team better understand the lay of the land.

This can also help calm unnecessary fear and uncertainty.

Be Intentional

As you become more informed be intentional about how and where you want your organization and team to use generative AI in their day to day tasks.

Taking the time to map out where various tools may come into play and can be helpful (or not) will help you make decisions about when, where, and how they fit into your workflow.

Communicate Expectations and Guidelines

As your leadership team becomes clearer on the AI strategy begin to communicate guidelines, train, and uptool your team as necessary.

Policies around allowed, disallowed, and recommened use can be created to ensure your team is on the same page.

This will also help with quality control.

Prioritize the Mental Health and Wellness of Employees

Last but not least prioritize your employee wellness. The impact of generative AI tools are weighing heavily on many creating stress and worry.

Ignoring this can breed fear amongst your team which will bleed into your company culture. Take care of your employees so they can continue to do their best work.

Also, AI learns by engaging with humans. This may not feel like as immediate of a concern but is worth mentioning.

The impact may take time but as generative AI tools increase in memory, which was alluded to in this weeks announcement, the culture and tone of your organization will impact the output of your generative AI tools.

Conclusion

The agentic era of AI has the ability and a probablity of transforming your organization. Getting ahead of the curve and intentionally directing the evolution and narrative in your organization can mitigate threats, reveal opportunities, and cultivate a healthy relationship and culture around these changes.

Just because a product has been released into the market does not mean that your company has to blindly accept it. Leaders and teams have a say into what will be allowed into their organizations and company culture.

In tech just as in any other industry, user adoption has and will continue to drive the market. Be clear about your parameters and what is acceptable in your organization.